Chapter Text
I was just going over to the boys to hangout.
When I came over, it was just Matt and Nick on the couch “Hey, where’s Chris?” I asked “In his room, he’s been odd. Hasn’t been out since like yesterday morning” Nick said and i immediately felt bad. I had been busy and we hadn’t really talked, for like two days.
“I’ll go check on him” I said and went downstairs.
It was dark and he was sitting by his computer. Just watching some random videos.
He turned slightly, as I closed the door “Hey..” I said softly and walked over to his chair “What are you watching?” I asked.
“Just one of Baylens old videos” he sighed “Is everything okay? Nick told me you’ve been kinda off” i made him turn his head and softly caressed his cheek.
“I don't know..I just haven’t been sleeping well. Just a shitty couple of days i guess” he explained “Aw I’m sorry…” i said and he pulled me down on his lap.
“Is there anything I can do..?” I ask, playing with his necklace “You’re here, that’s helping a lot already” he smiled sadly and kissed me softly “I’m not going anywhere then. You wanna take a nap with me baby…?” I asked and he nodded softly, then looked up smiling “baby?”
“Sorry it just slipped out” I smiled, feeling my cheeks heat up “That’s okay baby” he smirked slightly and kissed me again.
He kinda lifted me up and we went to lay down.
“You tell me if there’s anything you wanna talk about right..?” I asked softly, playing with his hair as he had his face buried in my neck “Yea..”
I woke up in the middle of the night.
Chris was hyperventilating and mumbling something in his sleep. It sounded like a really bad nightmare.
I gently shook him “Chris” I tried waking him up and it worked.
He woke up opening his eyes, still hyperventilating and his eyes immediately watered.
He had been asleep on my stomach, so he looked up at me, so out of it “Chris it’s okay, you just had a nightmare” i said cupping his cheek lightly.
“B-But you- and you weren’t moving” he was stuttering “Chris babe i'm okay, everything’s alright okay?” I hated how upset he looked.
He was about to say something, but just moved up wrapping his arms tightly around me and burying his face “Aw honey..” i just rubbed his back, holding him to me as he sniffled.
He started breathing normally somewhat. “You wanna tell me about it..?” I asked. He lifted himself up on his elbows and wiped his eyes “Uhm- we were in the car in Boston. We crashed, and you-you weren’t moving. There was a lot of blood and you didn’t wake up. I tried but..” he looked back up into my eyes “God you must think i'm crazy..” he said, hiding his face.
I took his hands away “You’re not crazy, c’mere” I pulled him back into my arms “But i am very much alive, so no need to worry about that, though i get that must be scary..” I rubbed his back.
“I think it’s just because. Remember what we talked about after the accident? How if you ever got hurt like that, and I couldn’t do anything? I would lose my mind- i-i wouldn’t be able to function. And if you didn’t wake up. I-i mean if I didn't have you. You’re- I just love you so much and I’m not sure I’d survive that-“
He was rambling, his breath going up again “Chris, sweetheart slow breaths okay..?” I said, grabbing his chin lightly. He nodded.
“I completely understand, I am so sorry you had to have a nightmare like that. But I’m glad I was here…” i cupped his cheek “Yeah me too..” I leaned up and kissed him softly, and then his nose.
“I love you so much, and I promise you’re not getting rid of me that easily” i chuckled making him smile “I love you more” he said in complete awe.
“Wanna go steal some of that leftover cake from Nessas birthday?” I asked. He furrowed his eyebrows “Marry me?” He asked “Mhmm, I’ll think about it. C’mon” i sat up taking his hands.
“Rude”
We snuck up the stairs, as quietly as possible.
We made it into the dark kitchen and Chris opened the fridge “Grab us some forks” he whispered smiling and I went to the drawer, as he took out a piece of the cake.
He put it on the table “Wait, isn’t this something from that Taylor Swift song you like..?” He whispered and held out his hand “Yeah it is” I smiled and he spun me around swaying us making me almost laugh.
But then he kissed me so gently “I'm so thankful for you..” he said as we pulled back, his hand still on my waist, slightly dancing. I just completely crumbled.
“How can i ever compete when you say romantic shit like that” I smiled “No but like i really mean it..” he said “Yea..?” I asked and he nodded “I'm thankful for you too..”
Nick point of view:;
I woke up needing cold water. As I walked down the stairs, I heard quiet laughter and immediately knew it was Chris and Luna.
As I reached the end of the stairs, I kinda paused for a second.
The only light was from the fridge.
They were kinda dancing around and Chris was trying to feed her some cake, but he nearly spilled it.
My heart was so happy for them, I could tell it was so genuine
As I walked closer Luna noticed me immediately. She nudged Chris and was smiling so big.
He turned with a mouthful of cake “Hi Nick, you want some cake?” He said on full volume and she immediately covered his mouth “Matt is sleeping!” She whispered and he was holding back a laugh and so was i.
“No thanks I'm good, just grab me a water” I smiled and Luna grabbed it for me “Try to get just a little sleep okay?” I asked them “We’ll try” Luna smiled knowingly at me and i walked back upstairs,
Luna point of view::
I was hanging out with Tana and I knew Chris was out with some of the guys and we’d talked about hanging out after.
I was just on her couch, when my phone buzzed. I picked it up and immediately smiled “What?” She asked, “Chris just texted me” I said.
“Wish you were here” it said.
“God he’s so in love, it’s honestly a little annoying” she chuckled “What should i say?”
“Just say me too”
I replied back “Me too. But aren’t you having fun?” I asked “Sure but I need you here” he replied “Where?” I asked.
“In my arms, in my lap, just here I don’t care” I showed Tana and she rolled her eyes.
“What?” Amari walked in and i showed him my phone “Girl if you don’t go give that man some good head” he chuckled sitting down.
“He’s out with his friends, we were supposed to practise being apart for the Italy trip” I sighed “Well clearly that’s not gonna work” he laughed.
“You’re out with Sam and the others right? I thought we weren’t telling people” I replied “I don't care about them, just want you here” he replied and I literally wanted to cry.
“Okay, where are you right now?” I replied and he immediately called, making Tana laugh.
“Hi” I said , looking at her all flustered. “We were at Saddle Ranch, but we’re leaving in a little while, where are you?” He asked “At Tanas” I smiled.
“Sam is driving, we’ll swing by” he said like it wasn’t even a question “Alright, guess I’ll see you in a bit then”
“Can they stop by? His friends are cute and very single” i said and Tana of course caved.
I ran to the door and was immediately picked up in a hug “I Missed you..” he mumbled into my hair “It’s barely been 24 hours babe..” I chuckled, as he put me back on my feet “And?” He kissed me softly and I turned blushing to Sam and the guys “Hi” I chuckled.
“How on earth are you two gonna survive a whole week apart?” Tana laughed.
I was currently half sitting on Chris, as we were just hanging out having wine. And he kissed me every two minutes.
“I have no idea” i sighed and turned to him, kissing him again “Aw cute, I’ll go vomit” Amari said getting up making us all laugh “Sorry”
……………………………………………………
I was in Chris' bed and we were both on our phones “Oh look it’s that filter” he said and showed me.
He started recording with the sound and the “kiss here” filter.
It landed on his lips, he raised an eyebrow with a smirk and turned to me.
He paused it and I of course kissed him. We watched it back and you actually couldn’t tell it was me at all.
“I’m gonna post it” he said “Wait are you sure?” I asked “Yeah, you literally can’t tell it’s you. It'll be fun to see them speculate” he said like it was nothing “Okay post it then”
Literally the second it was posted, comments started flooding in and it reached a million likes so quick “Who's next to him? There has to be someone. I'm sure it’s Luna” all the comments were like that and honestly i just thought it was funny.
—------------------------------------------
Things had been going great for almost two weeks. We weren’t dating officially, we were just enjoying the freedom for right now and that the fans didn’t know, even after that tiktok.
I had been in videos and of course they were speculating, but nothing major.
Tana had asked me to go live with her on insta.
We had been live for about 20 minutes and I knew Chris was coming over, so I kinda wanted to wrap it up. I hadn’t told him I was on live. He would just let himself in.
I heard the door unlocked and his little footsteps to my room.
I was in the middle of a sentence, when he walked into my room.
He simply walked over, lightly grabbing my chin and kissing me softly like a hi.
“I’m grabbing a soda, you want one?” He asked, walking out “Yea thanks” I looked back at the live.
The shock on Tana's face and the chat was going crazy.
I was holding back a laugh and trying my best not to react too much “I think that’s it guys; thanks Luna for joining me” Tana said also holding back a laugh knowing this was so bad “Of course, bye guys”
I put the phone down and my heart was racing. We just revealed it. Everyone would know now.
I walked into the kitchen where he was just on his phone “Uhm babe..?” I asked and he looked up “Yea? Were you on FaceTime with Tana or something?” He asked, handing me a soda “Well actually we were on live..” the shock on his face was insane.
“I should’ve texted you I know, but there wasn’t time and I couldn’t just stop mid live to go tell you. I'm so sorry” i said panicked “My phone has been dead, I wouldn’t have seen it anyway. It’s my fault I should’ve asked what you were doing before just kissing you like that..” he ran his fingers through his hair.
“And they could tell it was me?” He asked and I nodded “The chat was going crazy, we just ended it right after. Fuck” i said panicking “Hey, hey relax okay. There’s nothing we can do now” he walked over and pulled me into his arms, holding the back of my head.
“I just wanted it to be our little secret for a while longer..” I said “I know, me too..”
Then my phone rang and I was already on edge, but I picked up. It was Sabrina “Hi” I said looking at Chris “Hi, uhm bryant just posted a bunch of extra stuff from Nessa’s birthday. Including the strip of you and Chris. It’s tiny, but the fans can definitely tell” she said.
“Really? Well that’s just great timing. Thank you for telling me, I’ll call you later okay?”
I immediately went to check and she was right, I shoved it to Chris.
“Fuck” he sighed, handing me back the phone.
“What the fuck are we gonna do? I wanted to start small with that tik tok. But now..” he said frustrated “I don’t know..” i said feeling so scared, knowing this changed everything. Especially for him.
“I know you don’t want it to go public like that..” i said “Yeah..” he sighed “Also we haven’t even- you know had that talk yet” i said and he gulped “No we haven’t..”
“And I didn’t wanna have that yet cause I knew you weren’t ready. I was fine with just being whatever, but now we can’t just do that..” i explained “I can’t Luna..it’ll make everything so difficult. Change the way they see me, you know? I hoped we had time…so I could figure it out” he said.
“So you don’t wanna say anything..?” I asked hurt “Well we don’t owe them anything” he replied “I know that…i just maybe it could help..?” I asked “What would we even tell them?” He said frustrated.
“I don’t know..” i said and my heart felt like it was breaking.
“You wanna tell them that, oh yeah actually Luna and I are like seeing each other or whatever . But we haven’t even decided on what we are. How could that possibly help?” He raised his voice.
“Is that what you feel like we’re doing..?” I asked, my eyes glossing over.
“Well isn’t it? We never actually had the talk Luna..” he said “Yeah i’m aware…because I didn’t wanna pressure you into anything too soon” I explained.
“Pressure me? It takes two to be in a relationship. You’re the one who wasn’t even sure how you felt for me until like two months ago” he said, raising his voice.
“Don’t fucking put that on me; that’s not fair” i said raising my voice as well “Well it’s true. You were clueless and I was terrified of commitment. Off to a great start huh?” He said.
“But I told you I was okay with not putting a label on it. We don’t have to tell them if you don’t want to..” i said “But you clearly want to. Maybe we just don’t want the same things..” he said.
“Yeah maybe we don’t” i said “Maybe we should take a break..” he said having teared up too.
“A break from what? According to you we were just seeing each other or whatever” i said so annoyed and it looked like it hurt him “But fine, let’s take a break. I’m leaving in two days anyway..” i said and it looked like he’d forgotten that.
He was about to say something but decided on something else “Fine let’s take a break, then maybe I can get some more time to figure this out..” he said.
“Yeah it’s not like you had months to decide if you actually wanted to be with me already, but i guess it’s whatever” i said so hurt.
“You know what? Fuck you. I can’t do this” he grabbed his phone and walked to the door “Well fuck you too!” I said following him “Actually, go have fun, fuck some italian guy. I'm not sure if i care anymore”
“Fine maybe i will!”
He looked back at me, but then walked out slamming the door.
